Each day can’t always be new and shiny.  A mixed bag of laughs, irritation, actual physical pain, kid joy and just plain tired.  I think I managed to be in each one and go through it without rushing, without trying to change it.

Except the pain one. Suddenly struggling to breath, nauseous, pain in my chest, I wondered if I was having a heart attack. Scary stuff. But I have incredible, talented hospital friends who talked me through my symptoms and it could very well be that raking today did me in after a winter of not doing much. Or anxiety. Go figure. As long as the symptoms don’t come back, I’m all good.

So now I sit here and reflect back on this kind of erratic, less than sometimes, more than other times day.  I must give the irritation it’s due. It was a mind-numbing kind of work day. The kind that makes me question my point of being here at all. And then I read this…

“The call is that consistent tug we feel at the centre of our lives to do more than just continue, to know and fulfill the meaning of our lives. The call is always there, whispering in the soft places of our bodies and hearts, in the longing that reminds us what we ache for at the deepest level.” ~ Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Well the call wasn’t whispering, it was hollering and stamping its feet.  I cannot continue to just go along. I need to give this more attention.  I am listening, and I hear you. Now to figure out which direction to go, what and how, then when.

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