Who am I? No really. I mean, sure, it is such an overused existential question that just begs for mocking, but I am serious about this. I am not talking about the obvious- human, mom, friend, lover. Or even the descriptors- funny, joyous, impatient, passionate.

So many people, myself included at many times in life, just are. You are the person in charge of the carpool. You are the person who manages the staff calendar, runs the meeting and makes sure such and such happens. You are so many things that just somehow appear, entrench and become who you are. I was lots of things.

I don’t want that anymore. I don’t accept that those things define me. They…..lack. They are insufficient, some inaccurate and just plainly, not. And what the answers are or should be has kind of evaded me. I’m really not sure. I don’t mean to sound pretentious or self grandizing about it, but really just aware that hey, you really need to rethink things. I guess that’s good?

What I am clear about is focusing on what matters. What contributes. What actions cause productive reactions. What sustains, embraces, lifts and transcends. What gets results with meaning for real people around me. I have to do more, give more, speak up more.  It isn’t enough for me and don’t think it is enough for the world around me. I look forward to figuring out what ‘it’ is.

Advertisements